I have noticed the (not so subtle) references to my non-blogging as of late.
I will not give in to "the Man" by posting stuff when I have nothing to say.
The pressure on me to do so is unbelieveable! So I will just leave you with happy thoughts from one of my favorite SNL alums, Tina Fey. (from
www.thesuperficial.com)
Tina Fey was on the Howard Stern show yesterday and said that Paris Hilton was a piece of shit and looked like a transvestite up close. She also revealed that Paris asked the SNL writers to make a skit where she could play Jessica Simpson "because I hate her ... she's fat." I recommend you read
the entire thing because it's pure gold:
Howard Stern: What is Paris Hilton like?
Tina Fey: She's a piece of shit. The people at SNL were like maybe she'll be fun, maybe she won't take herself so seriously. She takes herself so seriously! She's unbelievably dumb and so proud of how dumb she is. She looks like a tranny up close.
Howard Stern: Was she bad on SNL, was she hard to deal with?
Tina Fey: She was awful. People never come in and say "I'm not doing that." So, this guy Jim Downey wrote a really really funny sketch, it was supposed to be Lorne Michaels just finding out that she had a sex tape and telling her she couldn't host the show because SNL has standards... So she was like "I'm not doing it!" and refused to come out of her dressing room. Also, you would walk down the hall and find what just looked like nasty wads of Barbie hair on the stairs... Her hair is like a Fraggle.
Howard Stern: Did she give you ideas for sketches?
Tina Fey: Yeah, she wanted to make fun of all the girls she hates. She was like "I want to play Jessica Simpson, I hate her." She would come in the room and say "you should do a show about Jessica Simpson because she's fat."
Howard Stern: What was the bet you guys had going about her?
Tina Fey: The cast had a bet if she would ask anyone on the cast anything about themselves, you know like how are you? where are you from? anything. I think Seth Meyers won because at one point, she asked him if Maya Rudolf was Italian.
I don't know what it means to be a hero. If it's saving children's lives and pulling dogs out of burning buildings then yeah, I guess I am a hero. But if it means calling Paris Hilton a tranvestite on national radio then by golly Tina Fey is a hero. Some might even say the greatest hero ever to have lived.
That is great! I've have it up to here with people idolizing no talent dumbshit whores. And what self respecting DJ plays her cock-knocking lip synch album on the radio? Geesh!
Her only talent is making herself throw up. See below for proof.
According to Joshua Radin, Paris Hilton was "performing" in Las Vegas when she
puked on stage. Radin was in Vegas with the cast of "Scrubs" and went to a club to see Jay-Z perform. He writes on his MySpace:
"Paris Hilton ...was sitting next to me the whole night. Seriously, next to me, like our legs were touching for a good 5 hours," Radin wrote on his MySpace site. "Now don't get the wrong idea. She never once said hello, nor even looked in my direction. Five hours. And it was unreal to watch. She must have pulled a compact out of her bag every 6 minutes to stare at herself and pose while Jay-Z was performing 18 inches from us." When Jay-Z left the stage, according to Radin, it was Hilton's moment. "Paris, who had been swilling straight vodka from [a] Grey Goose bottle for hours, gets up on stage, has the people in charge throw her 'record' on the house stereo for her to lip sync two of her songs," writes Radin. "She gets up on the stage, pukes, leaves. . . I find the music business charming."
The sad thing is that's probably the best performance Paris Hilton has ever given. The audience was probably like, "Who is this? I came here to see Paris Hilton but my ears aren't leaking blood. And I'm actually entertained." And then they'd fall to their knees, raising their fists in anger shouting at the heavens, "Who is this?!" Then they'd go home and kill themselves because they just admitted they actually wanted to see Paris Hilton perform.
Enough venom spewed out towards Paris, though, when there are more important people to dislike like Pres. "Dubya" Bush, Mike Tyson, O.J., and Lindsay Lohan. In that order.
